HIGH GEAR Page 7

Lesbian mothers

Rocking world by rocking cradles

By Dee L. Graham

In straight society women have always been expected to take primary responsibility for the children. Dykes, on the other hand, have been considered unfit mothers. The prejudice against them as a group has been so strong that only recently have lesbian mothers begun to fight legally for their right to raise children. It is therefore understandable that at a time when straight mothers are trying to give up some of the responsibility they have for children, lesbian mothers are trying to win the responsibility they have been denied.

real--that is, they are created by social attitudes and by socialization and not by biology. Yet if the patriarchy did not use the family as its vehicle for creating and maintaining these differences, women would never believe they are inferior. Such is the power of socialization. Such is the power of the socializer:

The lesbian mother is a woman who puts her primary energy into women rather than men. In her home, female children are at least as important as male children and homosexual children are at least as important as heterosexual children. Her value system is opposite that of the patriarchal value system. Her value system is a threat to its continuance. Her power as socializer of children makes her an even

more dangerous threat to the patriarchy. Furthermore, the lesbian mother, unlike the straight mother in the traditional family, is not monitored by a male within the home. Thus, it is of utmost importance to the patriarchy that she not socialize her children to adopt her value system.

Paradoxically, the lesbian mother is often more traditional in her childrearing practices than the straight feminist mother or the lesbian without children would like. That is, some lesbian mothers utilize patriarchal socialization practices by, for example, providing their male children with male role models and "masculine" toys and exposing both their female and male children to a patriarchal religion.

Their behavior must be viewed

in context. The patriarchy blackmails the lesbian mother into using its childrearing practices through its continual threat to take her children away from her and even to ensure that she never sees them again. Ironically though, even the most traditional lesbian mother is not immune to these punishments because even lesbian mothers using patriarchal childrearing practices lose custody of their children. More subtle punishments emerge as well. Children raised within a traditional home are taught to support the patriarchal system which devalues women in general and lesbians in particular. The result is that the lesbian mother who plays by patriarchal rules raises children who are socialized to eventually reject

Holier than thou types sow strife

By Riki Anne Wilchins & Wendy

L. Yockey

Numerous dykes, including mothers, have voiced the opinion that lesbian mothers should not be fighting to keep their children that, instead, they should use their energy to strengthen and nurture themselves. While their argument has some truth to it, it negates the power one has in raising children. This is an important oversight because the ing of children is the most powerful form of social control. The phrase, "She who rocks the cradle rules the world" is a recogniA recent issue of The Body tion of that fact. Moreover,this Politic, "Canada's Magazine for phrase is more true of dykes than Gay Liberation," included an for straight mothers because the article by Christine Bearchell power inherent in socializing entitled "The Cloak of Femichildren need not be weakened on a day-by-day basis by expos-nism." It recounted events suring the children to differential female-male power relations within the home. In the straight community a male is required to "legitimize" the child through marriage and through providing the child a last name. However, the dyke community the mother who has never married and who has herself provided the child a last name is, it seems, held in higher esteem than one who has married and whose child has its father's name. (I have found no formal data to support this last

efforts to celebrate International rounding Toronto women's Women's Day on March 8, 1979, and some ensuing happenings. The article ends with some of Ms. Bearchell's own opinions and insbian chauvinism. We all observations. Some quotes: indulge in it from time to time..... Straight and bisexual women testified that their intentions and motives as feminists were often greeted with scepticism by lesbians in the women's movement-

point, however). In the dyke community as compared to the larger straight society, male creativity in the form of mechanization is less likely to be in juxtaposition to and more valued than female creativity in the form of childbirth. Rather, in the lesbian family the mother is the creator of both. This means that the power she accrues in socializing the children is, in theory and in potential at least, less dampened than it is in the larger straight society by the patriarchal reward

system which de values women's contributions and mag nifies the significance of men's contributions.

The patriarchy recognizes the

power inherent in socializing children. What's more important, the patriarchy makes extensive use of it. Through differential rearing of girls and boys it has historically convinced females that there are real differences

between the sexes which lead to their devaluation. Scientists are finding these supposed differences are more apparent than

What was going on at the evaluation meeting was not only lesbian chauvinism -it was lesbian chauvinism disguised as feminism The only true feminism (emphasis her's) ...

are not about to concede that we may contribute to the oppression of others especially other

women."

Having one's motives and validity questioned is not at all an unfamiliar situation to Cleveland women who do not qualify as "pure" lesbian feminists, whatever the definition of "pure" happens to be that week. In fact, it is ironic that feminism, and the lesbian movement which started out as liberal... movements with the goals of freeing women, are now being used to oppress them into new roles. The moral of that story is that oppression from your sisters feels no different than oppression from your brothers.

Lest anyone think that I quote isolated sources. here is Jane Rule from "With All Due Respect: In Defense of All Lesbian Lifestyles": "One by one every woman who was willing to speak was disqualified by others in the room as inauthentic, not a 'real' lesbian.

Women without sexual experience were rejected: women who associated with men were rejected; monogamous couples did not have the political consciousness to be lesbians; political lesbians were only using the label as a gimmick. Night after night people did nothing but defend their own right to be lesbian and discredit others whose notions were different from their own. A great many people never spoke at all...The conflicts that I saw in v living room are also being played out in the larger public world. Robin Morgan discredits Jill Johnston for being politically incorrect. Others discredit Robin Morgan because she is married and has a child. And Kate Millett can't figure out, moving from community to community, whether she's supposed to call herself bi-sexual or lesbian, because what is momentarily all right on the East Coast turns out to be wrong on the West Coast. There is not, apparently. an authentic lesbian in the

New York Times on 'Cruising'

The following editorial appeared in the New York Times on Saturday. July 28, 1979,

Many homosexuals work hard to overcome the frightening and hostile social images that plague their lives. Like other civil rights advocates, they struggle against discrimination and unprovoked violence. So it's not surprising that the fear of stereotypes being reinforced by a forthcoming movie has spurred these groups to demonstrations.

York of a story called "Cruising." The National Gay Task Force has read the screenplay (we have not) and contends that the murder mystery portrays homosexual life in a distorted and provocative way. It cites last summer's head-bashing rampage in the Central Park Ramble

as an example of the violence that the film may provoke.

Is this a case of civil rights advocates turning censors? The filmmakers say it is, and so does Thousands of homosexuals Mayor Koch. The Mayor's goal, have been marching through moreover, of once again making Greenvich Village in recent days, New York a film capital is threaprotesting the filming in New tened by the protests, marked by

scattered violence. But the dem-

onstration leaders, having failed change his story and well aware to persuade the producer to of the thin line between expression and suppression, asked the

city to give merely "minimal" cooperation to the project.

We understand the fears of the

demonstrators but think they erred in seeking any official discrimination against the film. Anyone has the right to try to embarrass or boycott another's speech. But to enlist government in the protest invites unacceptable censorship. Those who are often denied their rights by official action ought to appreciate that better than most.

her. Unfortunately, her adolescent children often do so. Thus, the lesbian mother's right to raise her children and the power inherent in that right is greatly compromised even when she has custody of them.

In sum, it is obvious why the patriarchy works at both legal and non-legal levels to ensure that the lesbian mother does not keep her children or that she is continually threatened with their loss unless she plays by its rules. The battle between the patriarchy and the lesbian mother is a battle intended to strip the lesbian mother of her power as socializer. It is precisely for this reason that lesbians cannot give up this battle by giving up their children or their right to raise them as they see fit.

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tis long and fairly inexnaus.ie, of women oppressing women, lesbians oppressing lesbians. In fact, we have developed our own brand of Anita Bryant Feminism: instead of "God loves the sinner, but hates the sin," we have "The Goddess loves the Lesbian, but hates the Politics." Well, it is sad that more of us who are "discredited" choose to remain silent and not speak out; I suspect there are a great number of us out there who have only to reach out to each other instead of being forced into second closets. It is also sadly funny that as more and more lesbians/feminists take the risk of being public, they are met with "the rule-making, the testing, and the infighting" from those of us whose support they rightly expect and need. We owe it to respect all lesbian lifestyles, whatever each sister's brand of lesbianism entails. Too often we have seen (to borrow a phrase from the last (revolution) the movement eating her young.

We know that we gay people are not

freaks. We know that we are making outrageous contributions to our Society, that we work hard, play hard, live productive useful lives. We don't need anyone to tell us the truth about who we are.

... David Goodstein Whenever there is a brother or sister suffering at the hands of the system, gay people will be there. An army of lovers cannot fail. ...Sally Gearhart